The Warrior Reintegration series -- part 3: Keeping the homecoming happy

  • Published
  • By Tech. Sgt. Leo Brown
  • 442nd Fighter Wing Public Affairs
WHITEMAN AIR FORCE BASE, Mo. --  Time heals all wounds. However, according to a psychiatrist who counsels military victims of post-traumatic stress disorder, that isn't necessarily true.

Dr. Thomas Demark, M.D., staff psychiatrist in the Kansas City Veterans Affairs Medical Center's PTSD program, said asking for professional help can be one of the toughest things a military member faces.

Seeking such help is made much easier, he stressed, if spouses and children of Airmen returning from deployments recognize and properly deal with PTSD's symptoms, thus making their home lives as peaceful and productive as possible.

"A lot of the mindset of a soldier is one of toughness and bravery," Dr. Demark said. "Emotional difficulty is a sign of weakness and this is a huge barrier for a lot of soldiers to get over. A lot of times, this is the biggest barrier."

The doctor said the disorder's warning signs include anxiety, irritability, anger and a depressed mood.

"Generally, these are the things families will notice," Dr. Demark said. "For example, (the military member) may snap at someone because there's one sock on the floor. It's a combination of 'battle mind,' which is a mind-set a soldier is put in before combat and that's suitable for keeping him alive. But all the qualities of 'battle mind' might not be suitable for family life. During combat, you don't have time to process traumas and that can come out in irritability or anger - yelling at the wife, yelling at the kids for small things. That can escalate to verbal, emotional or physical abuse."

Dr. Demark said family members' constructive responses to such symptoms are usually simple, but potentially challenging. The bottom line, he said, is to point the military member in the direction of getting professional help, if needed.

"Family members can be supportive and understanding, and encourage the person to get help," he said. "They feel bad for (the military member). They want to help and they can feel helpless. The way they can help is to be understanding and supportive.

"PTSD's a spectrum condition," Dr. Demark said. "There can be a little bit to a whole lot with a whole spectrum between. A little bit might not be noticeable to an individual and involve some anxiety and maybe a little sleep disturbance. The most extreme is where a person won't leave his house or goes to live in the woods."

The doctor said the disorder often begins while a military member is still in-theater.

"The symptoms aren't always real evident, because a lot of other guys have it, too," he said.

Dr. Demark noted that for a person to exhibit PTSD symptoms largely depends on "if he has been exposed to traumas. Generally, the traumas come from being in combat. There are levels of combat and they will have some symptoms to some extent."

Dr. Demark said a member can feel an "emotional numbness" when he returns home.

"The member may not feel an emotional attachment to his or her spouse or children," he said. "It's an emotional isolation. If you've lost close buddies, you want to avoid those feelings down the road. It's a self-protective mechanism. There may be disturbed sleep, waking up multiple times, bad dreams. A wife may say, 'My husband is punching me and choking me in his sleep and he doesn't know what he's doing. There can be depression and sad feelings. Maybe tearful or weepy reactions. Part of this is normal. You're grieving after combat for loss of life."

The doctor said an Airman should feel no embarrassment about such symptoms since they show that he is "a caring human who has a conscience. If (combat) doesn't bother you, there's a problem."

Dr. Demark said the Kansas City VA center offers support groups for wives, families and significant others. For more information on these programs, call the center at (816) 861-4700 and ask for the "PTSD program." The center's website is www.kansascity.va.gov.

"About 50 percent of the vets I see are from Iraq and Afghanistan and about 50 percent are from Vietnam," Dr. Demark said. "If you don't get help, it doesn't go away. PTSD isn't a sign of weakness. It shows you're human. It's okay to ask for help."

Editor's note: This is the third in a series of articles about Warrior Reintegration.

Sidebar article:
PTSD -- Knowing the signs 

According to an Air Force Reserve's "Reunion and Reintegration" pamphlet, the four main types of PTSD symptoms are:
· Re-experiencing the trauma: flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive memories and exaggerated emotional and physical reactions to triggers that remind the person of the trauma. 

· Emotional numbing: feeling detached, lack of emotions (especially positive ones), loss of interest in activities 

· Avoidance: avoiding activities, people or places that remind the person of the trauma 

· Increased arousal: difficulty sleeping and concentrating, irritability, hyper vigilance (being on guard) and exaggerated startle response.

PTS may be behind such things as newly arising cases of domestic violence and the abuse of alcohol. For more information on this pamphlet, go to www.quickseries.com and click on the "government" link, then go to "latest publications."

Other websites that offer resources and information include: www.militaryonesource.com, www.afcrossroads.com, www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil, www.nmfa.org, www.redcross.org, www.esgr.org and www.afrc.af.mil.