Commander's commentary: Be a good wingman: Observe others, step in when necessary Published Jan. 25, 2011 By Col. Eric S. Overturf 442nd Fighter Wing commander WHITEMAN AIR FORCE BASE, Mo. -- Team Whiteman has been through some very difficult times in the last few months with the loss of six Airmen between the 442 FW and the 509 BW. As the new guy at the 442nd, I've been impressed with the way the wing, base and host communities have bonded together to grieve, heal and support the families of the fallen Airmen. I know from personal experience that the loss of a loved one never completely "gets better"; but I also know that time, faith and fellowship help to heal the wounds caused by the loss. As I drove home from a memorial service recently, I tried to think of ways to prevent the loss of outstanding Airmen. Life has its ups and downs, and we can't stop every accident or tragic incident, but we can learn from these difficult times and try to minimize them. For me, it starts with the wingman concept. As a young fighter pilot, wingmen got me out of more difficult situations than I can count, both in the air while helping me find the right target or defeat a missile at my six o'clock, and on the ground while encouraging me to re-think some of the bad habits in my personal life. The common theme was that I had someone to lean on when I needed help - even when I didn't know or think I needed it. Of course wingmen aren't limited to the pilot community. I did not know the Airman we recently lost in the 442nd FW personally, but I'm told he was the epitome of a good wingman. I'm a commander, but more importantly I'm a wingman, and the loss of these Airmen should inspire us all to be better wingmen and lend a helping hand when someone needs it. Whether it's telling a loved one how much they mean to you or taking the keys from a friend who shouldn't drive, I've learned the hard way it's too late to deliver the message at a memorial ceremony. Speak up when you see something that's not right. It could be someone showing signs of stress, depression or withdrawal. It could be someone refusing to wear protective equipment or taking other unnecessary risks. It could be someone experimenting with drugs or abusing alcohol. Whatever the case, the road to recovery starts with one wingman who has enough guts to step up and help. Once that first step is made, there are many resources available to help with the next step, such as our chaplains or Military One Source, both of which offer free, confidential counseling. Remember - being a good wingman isn't usually easy. The initial reaction to your remarks will often be hostile. It's human nature to be defensive when confronted about our actions, but don't let that slow you down. Your message will be heard, even though it may take time to sink in. In the meantime, you'll have the peace of mind that comes with knowing you tried to make a difference.